


Love Related Injuries

by AvecPlaisir



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: F/F, Set pre-series, annalise is difficult, bonnie is devoted, exploring relaionships, frank is trying to help kinda, idk where this is going tbh, kind of free-form
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 09:49:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7886389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvecPlaisir/pseuds/AvecPlaisir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bonnie's biggest fear is that there's something Annalise wants from her but isn't asking for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Related Injuries

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to explore Bonnie's devotion to Annalise and their relationship and Annalise having having emotional needs.

Bonnie has had crushes before.

(This was not a crush.)

When she was four, she had a crush on the older boy who worked in the super market three days a week. He’d smile at her when he bagged their groceries and told her he like her bow. At four, that was enough for Bonnie to draw pictures of him in bright red tux, and herself in a brown wedding dress. Brown, because white didn’t show on white paper, and anyway when she showed her father he told her that white was only for good girls.

 

Brown wasn’t Bonnie’s favorite color, but she had always felt it was a good one. Brown recalled chocolate kisses, the warm earth in the summer, Billy Brown in 2nd grade, whose skin was as brown as his name and who was the loudest boy in the class and also the nicest.

Brown was also the color of shit.

She hated shit. Hated the way it was warm when it was fresh and crusted when it wasn’t. Hated the nauseating smell of it, smeared on her skin. But when that happened she closed her eyes tight and thought of the earth and the sun and Billy Brown’s bright smile and asking him to play a good game.

  

Bonnie’s crushes on girls were more confusing. And for the first 16 years of her life, they didn’t register as crushes at all. The girl in her chemistry class made Bonnie’s heart stutter when she passed, the young mother in the brown bikini at the pool drew her eyes. It took her a long time to realize that her attraction to women was in fact that. 

Ingrained homophobia will do that, Bonnie supposed.

By the time she was a law student, interning with none other than Annalise Keating, the term  _bisexual_ was something Bonnie had come to appreciate (along with the deep ferocity in Annalise's brown eyes, the gravel of her voice late at night, the scent of her skin when she stood close). Not a word she used often, or even said out loud to anyone. Most people assumed she was only into men, or used different words when they realized she wasn’t. But it served as an explanation, for herself at least.

(Annalise didn't use any words, never discussed it, though Bonnie was sure she knew. Lawyers as brilliant as Annalise didn't get to where they were by being unobservant of their effect on others. Sometimes, Bonnie could swear Annalise could read her mind.)

So Bonnie was no longer confused. Except--except she _was_ confused. When Annalise beckoned her with a slight curve to her mouth, or ordered her to stay late looking over files, or get her dry cleaning, or go over to an office to do an interview, when she went to bed and dreamed of Annalise’s red lips or rubbed herself off to a voicemail Annalise had left on her phone, scolding her for incompetence, she was, undeniably, confused.

Not by her crush (if you could call it that). Her attraction to Annalise was itself a fairly unremarkable thing. Annalise was breath-taking--powerful, fierce, commanding, _brilliant_.  And--charming, too, when she wanted to be. Bonnie’s infatuation with Annalise—her teacher, mentor, boss, _savior_ —was par for the course.

No—what confused her was the emotion Annalise showed in return.


End file.
